It's You
by Rebelliouscat
Summary: We don't like to face rejection. When we do we do our best to get over it. The problem is when a certain sociopath keeps sabotaging my methods of getting over him. "His eyes are like mine but they will never be my eyes. You will always think of me and wonder what would have happened if I accepted your feelings, what we could have become together"
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Only OC is mine, everyone else is not**

One does not expect to fall in love. Seriously. I had thought that love would leave me alone for the entirety of my life, however I just had to be proven wrong…again.

It all began one fine day when I was suddenly a cop slash bodyguard for one Sherlock Holmes…

 _I look up from my newspaper when I hear a scuffle across the street from me. I see a willowy built man scuffling with another man who has a knife in hand. I drop the newspaper and jump over the small picket fence around the café I was enjoying my coffee at. I barrel into the shorter man successfully getting him to let go of the knife. I grab hold of his coat and use it to restrict his airway and paralyze him. The tall man is looking at me with shock, I motion to his phone_

 _"Mind calling for some help or would you like me to do that for you too?"_

 _He breaks out of his stupor and grabs for his phone and calls. I put the handcuffs on the guy and get off of him. Another man shorter than the one on the phone approaches with his walking stick_

 _"I see you managed to apprehend another one Sherlock"_

 _Sherlock turns to look at the newcomer_

 _"Yes, well I had some help this time"_

 _He looks over at me_

 _"How would you like to be my bodyguard?"_

 _I stare at him in shock._

Of course Lestrade thought it would be a very good idea for me to keep tabs on Sherlock and his mystery solving powers. Now a year later I find myself in love with the man I thought would be the end of me. I think it's in my family's genetics to fall in love with sociopaths…

I find myself looking at the small curio I have in my hand and admire it. It is rather nice if I do say so myself. It is a small brass wolf that is howling, I hold it up to the light and admire it a bit more before putting it in my pocket.

Today is the day Jessie Compton( a.k.a me) is going to confess to Sherlock Holmes.

I leave home and make my way through the streets and before long I find myself standing in front of 221B Baker Street. I knock and I am greeted by John Watson. We both walk up together and I make myself comfortable.

"Sherlock's gone off to the mortuary for a new case"

"Lastrade called me about it, he keeps asking why I can't keep track of Sherlock. He doesn't realise that Sherlock will do what he wants to do without consultation"

John nods in understanding before getting up to make some tea. I decline as I always do and just then the door opens. Sherlock with his trademark scarf walks in ,mumbling to himself and walks straight to his equipment and pulls out a petri dish from his pocket and begins a rather complicated looking experiment.

It isn't too long later when John goes out the door, claiming he has a date and a show planned for tonight. I wave at him with a smile and wish him luck and he smiles before closing the door behind himself.

Sherlock has taken to sitting on his email and I approach and clear my throat. He looks up at me with a quirked eyebrow. It feels as if my skin is too tight on my body and I have the sudden urge to scratch at myself. I open my mouth

"Spit it out"

"How about some patience instead Sherlock?"

I take a deep breath

"Sherlock I have known you for the better part of a year and I think I may…"

"Be in love with me, I know"

As usual the man could not keep himself from spilling everything before I could

"Yes, well since you spoilt the surprise I brought something else. I hope you don't spoil the surprise for yourself again"

I dig the wolf out of my pocket and place it on the desk. He eyes it for a moment

"Made in Africa?"

I nod

There is a thick silence before he turns back to his email

"I do not feel the same I'm afraid"

My heart stops

"What?"

He turns around to look at me again

"Your romantic feeling towards me are not returned. In fact they may even hinder us in the near future"

Everything is falling apart around me. I should have known better than to approach him with my feelings. I should have known better than to expect him to understand and maybe have feelings towards me too.

I turn around and then he calls out to me again

"Don't forget the little wolf"

Suddenly filled with anger I turn around and take the wolf and put it back into my pocket before stomping out the door into the rain. I call for a taxi and jump in. I pull out my phone and call Lastrade

"Jessie, I was about to call you"

"I need to speak with you urgently sir"

"What about?"

"Sherlock Holmes. I can't manage with him anymore sir. It isn't much in terms of experience when all he does is run off at unexpected times"

Lastrade makes a considering noise

"I understand, after all I have had to deal with him too"

He chuckles

"I'll have you assigned to something else. In the mean time I need you stay with him a bit longer just for some observation"

I agree and hang up before dialling a friend. She picks up with an enthusiastic greeting. The taxi stops and I pay him. When I manage to get into my apartment, still on the phone, I drop myself on my bed

"So how's the love life?"

I sigh

"Dry and abysmal as it always has been"

"Well I met someone the other day and he mentioned that he rather likes you"

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really and I wanted to ask you if I could give him your phone number. He is rather dashing"

The only way to get over someone is to dive right in the dating pool and be distracted so why not?

"Tell him to call me after five tomorrow, I'll be free"

The next morning is tense for me. I have no idea as to how exactly I am going to cope with Sherlock for the next few days. I am embarrassed more than anything else but at the same time, I want to be near the man for a little while longer before letting go.

I put on my coat and make my way to 221 B and knock. A text beeps on my phone and I look at it

 **It's open**

I open the door and go up, and seeing Mrs Hudson along the way. She looks at me with sad eyes

"I overheard you both when I came up with some biscuits"

I look away from her

"I should have known better than to approach him"

She clicks her tongue

"He shouldn't have been so hard on you"

"It doesn't matter now, in a few days I will be assigned somewhere else and I can put this behind me"

"If you need anything dear, don't hesitate to call"

I thank her before going upstairs

Sherlock is scrolling through something and John looks like he just woke up

"Morning"

John smiles at me sleepily before sitting down and Sherlock doesn't make a move to acknowledge me

"Since you're both here I rather just let it out in the open then"

John looks at me with confusion and Sherlock stops his activity on the laptop momentarily

"Lastrade will be assigning me to a new duty in a few days , so for these last few days I will not be accompanying you both on any wild goose chase rather I will be observing and taking notes…like I was supposed to when I first got assigned"

Sherlock gets up from his seat

"Where are you going?"

"To the toilet…unless you would like to follow me to take notes?"

I glare at him before sitting down and engaging in conversation with the doctor.

In the afternoon my phone rings and I pick up when I see Eliza's name flash on screen

"Reginald said he will call you in a few, don't mess this up with talk about your job"

"I promise not to talk about my job if he calls"

She hangs up and I find John staring at me

"What is it?"

He shakes his head before asking

"Does this have something to do with Sherlock?"

I am rather unconvincing but he lets it go. Sherlock walks through the door looking smug and I don't bother to ask about it before taking my leave for the day. I greet them both before leaving and see Mrs Hudson on my way out. She stuffs a container of biscuits in my hands and waves at me.

When Reginald calls I sigh but make myself sound cheerful

"So who has put that smile on your face?"

I look over at John

"No one"

He nods suspiciously

"It wouldn't have to do with the new man you are seeing?"

"I am not seeing anyone John"

"But he is calling you is he not?"

"Must be someone boring, has a name like Reginald"

I look over at Sherlock

"Maybe it is, but it isn't any of your business is it now Sherlock?"

He pretends as if he didn't hear me and goes on

"Maybe an accountant or a school teacher"

"Pet store owner actually"

"Probably hasn't had a date in a few years"

"Just broke up with a long term girlfriend"

"Probably is bad in bed"

"That has nothing to do with me at this moment"

"But you are thinking about it"

I sigh

"Sherlock, piss off on this one"

John looks between us as if we are a rather entertaining tennis match. I shake my head and go to make some coffee for myself before I went mad and possibly break a beaker on Sherlock's head of luscious locks.

"I am going out with him tomorrow"

"But tomorrow is Friday"

I pick up the hot coffee to my lips

"Yes and this is important how?"

"You always spend Friday nights watching telly"

I roll my eyes

"A change once in a while won't hurt anyone Sherlock"

He says nothing just walks off somewhere in the flat and I shake my head. John too looks exasperated at the taller man.

"Today is my last day with you both and he acts like this"

"He is emotionally stunted Jess, you shouldn't worry too much about it"

"Thanks John"

"For what?"

"For being the most normal person in my life"

 **Date one**

Reginald and I are dining in the outside section of the restaurant. We receive our menus and we laugh and talk for a little bit before deciding to get a starters and some iced tea since it is a rather warm night for London. We receive the plate and our drinks when suddenly we hear some screaming and a few high pitched shrieks. We both turn to look behind me when I see Sherlock running through the crowd with someone not too far behind and it isn't John.

Sherlock's eyes suddenly meet mine for a moment before he runs down the street. The man behind him pulls out a gun as they turn a corner and I realise that if I don't do something fast, Sherlock is going to get shot. I get up and apologise to Reginald and run behind them, shoving people out of my way with loud apologies.

The way is empty when I turn the corner and I raise my pistol and stop when I have a clear shot. I call out and they both turn, I then take the shot. The man drops the gun and grabs onto his arm, I take the chance to kick his gun further away from him and keep my pistol trained on him. Sherlock is looking at me like the first time he met me and I tell him to call the police and get rid of the guy.

Not long after I hear sirens and Lestrade sorts everything out. I am walking back to the restaurant when I realise that someone is walking beside me. I look up at Sherlock

"What?"

"What?"

"No Sherlock"

"No Sherlock what?"

"You cannot accompany me back to the restaurant under the guise of meeting Reginald only to scare him away. Again I am telling you to go away and leave me alone"

He stops and I walk faster, stopping myself from looking back at him

 **Date two**

It's a beautiful day and Reggie and I are dining at a small place that is family owned. We order milkshakes and a plate of chips. As we are about to receive our order something falls from above us. I pick up the item to see it is a cell phone.

We look up and see Sherlock hanging onto the banner for dear life

"Sherlock?!"

"Catch me"

"What?"

The banner suddenly tears from the one side and Sherlock is coming towards the ground. I get up and barely manage to grab onto him in time. We both land on the hard concrete and the air is pushed out of my lungs as his weight lands on me. I push him off and catch my breath and Reggie comes to help me up. I sway into his arms and he leads me back to my seat. I take a few sips of milkshake and feel slightly better.

"It seems as if though I have lost them"

"Who Sherlock?"

"Don't worry about it, enjoy your date"

How can I when you're always around every corner every time I go out with Reggie?

 **Date three**

As I am lifting the fork with roast chicken to my mouth, we have a sudden guest sliding across our table, taking with him the rest of my meal. Reggie stares at the table gobsmacked and I sigh. Sherlock's head pops up from the end of the table

"Apologies for disturbing"

He seems to be chewing something

"The roast chicken is fantastic"

I look at him

"I know because I ordered it"

He contemplates for a moment but then thinks better of the possible garbage that might come out of his mouth. He suddenly hides under the table and I look at the gang of men running by. I smile at Reggie with frustration but put my fork down anyways. We decide we should just order dessert because main courses are overrated anyway.

Suddenly there is a heavy weight on my knee and I am nearly shocked until I remember that Sherlock is under there. I feel one of his hands grasp hold of my ankle and a finger traces around my ankle bone, he plays with it as if he discovered something new. Suddenly there is a press of lips against the side of my knee and I can feel the warmth of him through the denim I am wearing. Involuntarily one of my hands slide under the table and tangle into his mop of hair.

Reggie and I carry on talking and enjoy our dessert, afterwards he has to leave to open up the shop again and I wave him goodbye. When Reggie has walked more than a hearing distance away Sherlock slides into his seat as if he belongs there. He picks up the remainder of the dessert and my spoon before having a taste himself

"Tad too sweet for me, but you love sweet things"

"Thanks for noticing now please leave"

 **Date four**

Reggie and I are led by a waiter to our reserved table. We just sit down and are taking a look at the menu when I hear the familiar voices. I look over Reggie's shoulder and meet the eyes of one Sherlock Holmes and I see the back of a head but the familiar hair tells me that it is no other than Irene Adler. What is she even doing here? Wasn't she supposed to be under witness protection?

It doesn't matter now. Sherlock has every right to go on a date with someone he likes, just like I am doing right now. I turn my attention back to Reggie who is telling a story about a rather difficult customer. I feel goose bumps rise on my skin and I can't help but look over his shoulder again to find those entrancing eyes focused on me again. A see a small pale hand reach for his and I look away and paste on a smile for Reggie.

The live band begins playing a slow song and Reggie offers a hand which I take. He leads me to the small dance floor where a few other couples are slowly swaying to the music. Reggie wraps his arms around me and I place my arms on his shoulders and we sway to the tune. I see Sherlock and Irene from the corner of my eye and they are approaching the dancefloor too.

She wraps her arms around his neck and smiles up at him and his hands are on her waist. They make a beautiful picture together, a tall and handsome man with a woman who rivals him in intelligence. They would make cute children together. The image of them together is burned into my mind and I feel my eyes welling. I distract myself by burying my face into Reggie's neck and breathing in his cologne to control myself. I don't blame him for wanting Irene over me, after all I am just a policewoman who never really dresses up, I am a woman that tackles other men down rather than paint my nails and shop for shoes to make myself alluring.

When I look up again Sherlock's face is thunderous. For a few moments I am more frightened by that expression before realising that I don't have to be. I whisper to Reggie that our food should be arriving any moment and we walk off the dancefloor hand in hand. I am right because not a few moments later our waiter brings our dinner and we dine in companionable silence. Reggie and I discuss our day and I tell him about the new case that is happening, leaving out the new details since they haven't been released to the press yet.

It feels as if he wants to burn holes through me with just his gaze. I try to ignore him but almost each and every time I look at him I find his eyes. I smile at Reggie and we talk about how the weather is rather bad, with all the rain that doesn't want to seem to stop anytime soon. I excuse myself to the ladies room and I am forced to walk by the beautiful couple. When I walk by I can smell her perfume, spicy like her. When I am in the bathroom I take a deep breath to calm myself. When I leave I pass by Miss Adler but pretend that I don't know her.

When I pass by their table a hand suddenly grasps my wrist and I stop dead in my tracks. A finger traces my pulse, and I am helpless to do much else, too afraid to draw attention to the both of us. I see Irene in the reflection of another patron's glass

"Sherlock please"

"Please what?"

"Please let me go"

His grips tightens for a moment before letting go

"Who is this Sherlock?"

I come face to face with his date. I put a hand out

"Jessica Compton, Sherlock and I used to work together"

She shakes my hand

"Irene, it's lovely to meet an actual friend of Sherlock's"

I smile at her and then say that I need to get back to my date

"Jess"

I look back at Sherlock

"I do hope to see you again soon"

In Sherlock speak means _I will be seeing you again much sooner than you would like_

Reggie and I leave after dinner forgoing the dessert. I can't handle those eyes on me any longer.

 **Date five**

Reggie and I are sitting in a rather awkward silence. Awkward because Sherlock made the choice to join our date as a third wheel. Just yesterday we had a discussion about Sherlock and his need to be where I am, especially on dates. Reggie told me that it is unhealthy for Sherlock to be this way but he doesn't understand the way Sherlock functions. Telling him to piss off doesn't always work the way you want it to. As for Sherlock, he's eating a pudding cup and acting as if though everything is right in the world.

We decide that maybe a walk in the park would be a better choice. As Reggie and I walk together, Sherlock trails behind us. I tell Reggie that I don't think it is going to work with Sherlock hanging around us like this when suddenly he reaches behind his neck and takes out a small ball of paper. We both look behind us only to see Sherlock closely examining a tree, the faker.

We end our date early and I walk with Sherlock along the roads of central London. I am so angry with him right now that I have no words to express it. He opens the door to 221 B Bakers Street and we both walk in and take off our coats. His signature scarf still looks so good around his neck and I look away from him as he leads us up the stairs calling for Mrs Hudson to bring us some tea.

I sit on John's chair and Sherlock lays on the double sofa. He looks up at the ceiling and closes his eyes

"Have you no shame Sherlock?"

"Shame is for those with less brain cells than me"

"You are purposely sabotaging my dates with Reginald"

"Doesn't matter now does it? You won't be seeing him again after today"

"Oh? Is that so? What makes you think I won't?"

He looks at me

"Because I said so"

"What makes you think that I really care about what you say?"

"At this moment you don't, but you do care about dear Reggie"

I look at him in confusion

"What are you implying?"

"I'm not implying anything; I am merely saying that it would be a shame if something happens to him when he is on his way to see you"

"You wouldn't"

He gets off of the sofa and stalks towards me like a predator

"You're a highly functional sociopath not a psychopath"

He is directly in front of me now and a finger traces my jaw softly. He leans in and whispers

"It's a thin line"

"Please don't do anything to him Sherlock, he is innocent in all of this"

"I said that I wouldn't do anything"

He walks back to the sofa and waves a hand

"Now come here"

I sit next to him and an arm wraps around me and brings me in close

"You smell like him"

"I hugged him"

"You need to smell more like me"

He shifts us until we are both laying on the sofa and he covers us with a small quilt. We are together like that for a while before he speaks

"You're tense"

"You just threatened to hurt someone and you expect me to be okay with such close proximity to you?"

He sighs into my neck

"I thought this is what you want, being close to me"

"Well maybe I don't want that anymore. Maybe I am in love with Reginald…"

I find myself flipped over and staring into his eyes that are burning with rage

"Don't you dare mention that again!"

"You rejected me Sherlock. You are automatically disqualified from having any say in my life"

"You still love me. Every man that you spend time with will remind you of something in relation to me. Reginald has pale eyes like mine"

"So what?"

"His eyes are like mine but they will never be my eyes. You will always think of me and wonder what would have happened if I accepted your feelings, what we could have become together"

He leans in to my ear

"The answer is that we would be fantastic"

 **Reviews and comments are much appreciated. It is a bit difficult to get oneself to understand the mind of a sociopath but I am doing my best to be as true to Sherlock's character as possible. I don't ever see a romance with him just going smoothly since his social skills are ... sorely lacking? Sociopaths are not easy to deal with on any level.**

 **Hope you have enjoyed part one. If you have any criticism that can help me improve please feel free to leave hints and tips in your review. I am open to all kinds of advice. If you are interested to see more works of mine please visit my profile to see my other story called Jurassic World - Secrets.**


	2. Chapter 2

I ignore Sherlock as he walks around me in the bathroom while I brush my teeth. Suddenly his arms wrap around my waist and his head takes perch on my shoulder. He looks at the both of us in the mirror and I raise an eyebrow but leave him to do as he wishes. He gets close to my ear

"Later, after I have solved this case I want to…"

I don't bother to let him finish and push his head away from my shoulder

"No"

"You didn't let me…"

I spit into the sink and gargle again

"I know, but the answer to sex is no. Sherlock I'm still sore from yesterday!"

"I know but…."

"No we will not be doing other things either. I am tired, it's my day off; please for goodness sake let me have some sleep!"

He rolls his eyes

"What I meant to say was that we should meet at that Chinese place you like"

Immediately I feel stupid

"Oh, uh alright. I can do that. What time?"

"Seven"

He leans in again

"When we come back we can indulge in coitus"

He then disappears out the door and I turn back to the mirror

"That man will be the death of me"

How I ended up here? Well….

 _Three weeks after the break up I find myself checking in at 221B again almost every day even though I have been assigned to other tasks._

 _"Lestrade is asking what's the hold up with this case Mr Holmes"_

 _Sherlock raises an eyebrow_

 _"Mr Holmes?"_

 _"Yes"_

 _I replied petulantly. John enters the room and looks between the both of us_

 _"I'm going to out on a limb here and guess that everything is sorted between the two of you?"_

 _"Unfortunately not John"_

 _Sherlock doesn't even look apologetic at the fact that he threatened to hurt an innocent man in order to keep me chained to him!_

 _"What did he do to get you here then?"_

 _"He threatened to hurt Reginald"_

 _John looks flabbergasted at Sherlock_

 _"Is this true?!"_

 _"I didn't threaten to hurt him"_

 _"You implied it Sherlock"_

 _"I just said that it would be a shame if something happened to him while on his way to meet you"_

 _"That's a threat Sherlock!"_

 _John looks scandalised by Sherlock's behaviour. Sherlock turns to look at him_

 _"It is not John. It's merely a statement; you never know what happens in London these days"_

 _I roll my eyes_

 _"That is how Sherlock got me to come back here"_

 _"Well then if you don't like it here then just leave"_

 _"Fine"_

 _"Fine?"_

 _"Fine"_

 _I walk out the door and slam it shut behind me with a smirk. Time for me to do some actual work._

 _Sitting at my desk filling out paperwork is tedious and the most boring thing I will ever have to do in my career but I can't help but long for a chase with that pompous sod. Suddenly there is the bang of our doors and people are being shoved out of the way by none other than the bane of my existence. He sits in the chair in front of me and glares_

 _"I don't know how you managed to do what you did this morning but I assure you it won't happen again"_

 _I look at him unimpressed and go back to my paperwork_

 _"I will only communicate with the police department via you"_

 _I ignore him_

 _"Lestrade and I both agree that it would be better suited for you to return to working with me, rather than some child that looks barely out of high school"_

 _"That is not my problem Mr Holmes. Now if you don't mind I do have actual work to do"_

 _He grabs my wrist_

 _"These tedious papers are beneath you"_

 _"Do tell me more"_

 _He sighs with aggravation_

 _"You belong with me, solving crimes is what we do best…"_

 _"Wrong. Solving crimes is what YOU do best; I was merely the bodyguard slash violence enthusiast. I can't be that way any longer Sherlock I have to grow up and join the real world of policing"_

 _"Jessica!"_

 _We turn and see Lestrade_

 _"The one assigned to Sherlock has put in a form for change of duty"_

 _"What?!"_

 _He nods solemnly and lifts the page to his face_

 _"It says here under reasons for change of duty, that and I quote 'My charge is an arrogant and pompous man who will never respect anyone other than himself and will most likely die a lonely death in the pits in some far off place possibly with garbage like the low life he is' "_

 _I glare at Sherlock_

 _"What did you do?"_

 _"I just told her about her family's history of drugs and violence. Also her boyfriend has been cheating on her with a prostitute"_

 _"You are impossible"_

 _"It's the reason why I need you back on this guy"_

 _I look at my boss and give him a nod before turning back to my desk. Sherlock is smug and I point a finger at him_

 _"If you dare to irritate me Sherlock Holmes, I will end you in the most torturous way possible"_

 _He grabs my hand and pulls me close_

 _"Now do you understand why you belong with me?"_

 _"I am the only one that will put you in your place?"_

 _"You're the only one that will keep up with me"_

 _"That doesn't mean anything. For all I know you could be a terrible person to be around"_

 _"You would have left earlier if that was the case"_

 _"I don't mean to intrude in your lover's spat but there's a crime that needs to be solved and this man is wasting time"_

 _I push Sherlock out the door_

 _"Go, I'll see you at the flat later"_

 _Later in the evening most of my stuff needed for observation is back in 221B Baker Street and Sherlock is nowhere to be found along with John. Mrs Hudson brings me some juice_

 _"I see the both of you have made up dear"_

 _"Why is everyone so worried about whether or not Sherlock and I are on speaking terms?"_

 _"He played the violin for over week, he didn't eat nor did he shower"_

 _"That does sound serious"_

 _"Then he got all moody"_

 _"He's always moody"_

 _"He threatened to shoot John in the left shoulder"_

 _"….that bad?"_

 _She nods_

 _"It was like watching a drug addict in withdrawal"_

 _I run a hand through my hair_

 _"Well I am back now, so hopefully the threats towards John's person will stop now"_

 _"So do I"_

 _John enters the room with Sherlock not far behind. Sherlock looks at where all my things have been placed and nods his approval_

 _"Your things are back where they belong"_

 _"According to you"_

 _"And I am always correct"_

 _John sits in his chair and I go into the bedroom for my journal. When I turn around Sherlock is right behind me and grabs me before I can meet the floor_

 _"Thanks"_

 _"I've been feeling antsy"_

 _"And how is that related to me?"_

 _"I feel out of control, the thought of you spending time with that…I don't even have a word for him"_

 _"He has a name, use it"_

 _"If I use it, it would make him important and he is not important"_

 _I try to move away only to have Sherlock bury his face into my neck_

 _"This is what you did that night when you were dancing with him"_

 _He took a deep breath_

 _"I was filled with fury"_

 _Exhale_

 _"I wanted to tear him apart for touching you"_

 _Another_

 _"It feels like there is a beast inside me"_

 _Exhale_

 _"Just the thought of him makes me wild with rage"_

 _Inhale_

 _"The thought of you being in the arms of another, embracing him when you said that you loved me…I would've killed him"_

 _Exhale_

 _"You're mine Jess. You're mine"_

 _He dips his head down and I have a war raging within myself. Would it hurt to just have one taste of this man?_

 _My mind short circuits when his lips touch my own, gentle, almost testing. He pulls away and I open my eyes, not even realising that I even had them closed in the first place._

 _"Can I?"_

 _Can you what? Tear me apart and leave me?_

 _"Can I take this further?"_

 _I kiss him in an affirmative and he takes the chance to guide me to his bed_

 _"Door…"_

 _"Mrs Hudson and John have already left"_

 _"Still"_

 _"Don't worry about it"_

 _It isn't long before we are both naked and touching each other, exploring and learning. His hands are touching me as if there is s method in his mind about how I like to be touched. I touch his cheek_

 _"Why does it seem as if you are following instructions from a book?"_

 _He looks away, uncomfortable_

 _"It's because I am"_

 _I sit up_

 _"Since when do you read romantic garbage?"_

 _"Not romantic garbage, anatomy"_

 _"I am going to pretend that I didn't hear that"_

 _"It will pay off in the end, I promise"_

 _I lay back down and Sherlock touches me gently, starting with my face. He uses the back of his fingers to gently touch from my hairline. Slowly he traces his way down, closing my eyelids. I feel a fingertip touch the edge of my nose before continuing down lower and tracing my lips. Just to throw him off I catch the fingertip in between my teeth and lick at the appendage. His eyes dilate and I suck just a bit harder before letting go. Sherlock on the other hands seems to have disappeared into a world all his own._

 _He shakes his head and then carries on with his exploration using a single finger. He traces down my collar bone to the valley of my breasts. He traces to one nipple, using his finger to draw circles around it before rolling it between his thumb and fore finger. He leans down and with a broad swipe of his tongue, laps at the nipple. He looks up at me and then seeing there is no resistance, takes the nipple into his mouth. A hand makes itself at home in his locks. He takes the other globe of flesh into his other hand and massages it until he moves onto that one._

 _When they are sensitive to the touch he makes his way all the way down to my sex. Shyly I try to close my legs to hide myself away. He gently parts them again and leans down as if he is discovering something alien to him. He traces the outer mound of flesh before parting the folds_

 _"Labia Majora"_

 _Shocked I look down at him_

 _"Sherlock? What are you doing?"_

 _He shushes me_

 _"I'm learning"_

 _He parts them wider before blowing some air on the sensitive nub hidden by the fleshy folds_

 _"Clitoris"_

 _He examines it then looks at me_

 _"Did you know it has approximately eight thousand nerve endings?"_

 _No but I do now_

 _"So when I do this…"_

 _He rubs at it gently with a finger and I barely manage to contain a moan_

 _"Interesting"_

 _He brings his face down to the soft flesh_

 _"When I do this…"_

 _A warm and wet appendage makes contact with the nub and I jerk off the bed in shock. The electricity that travels up my spine is astounding. Sherlock hums approvingly_

 _"Something I need to return to later"_

 _"Can you stop cataloguing and get on with it?"_

 _He looks mildly offended_

 _"Foreplay is the best part"_

 _I am breathing heavily and my skin is on fire. I want him here with me and he is still thinking about something a book told him_

 _"Come here Sherlock"_

 _"I'm not done just yet"_

 _Long fingers touch me and I grip onto the bed sheets. A finger enters my body and I shift, then a thumb is on my clit, slowly rubbing it. Slowly the finger thrusts in and out of me, then another. I bite around my arm to stop the sounds from spilling out of me, then he hits a spot inside me that has me seeing stars._

 _"Sherlock"_

 _I hear a hum from him, satisfied by my reactions to his administrations. He picks up the pace and I thrash on the bed. My climax hits me out of the dark and I see white behind my eyelids._

 _When I open my eyes I see Sherlock watching me intently_

 _"So beautiful"_

 _I feel a whole body blush come one and I want to hide away from him_

 _"Don't feel shy"_

 _He gets on top of me_

 _"You are satisfactorily lubricated. We should commence with coitus now"_

 _I have no words right now._

 _He enters my body at an excruciatingly slow pace_

 _"Haven't had many partners have you?"_

 _"Are you asking me if I am a slut?"_

 _"No, I am stating a fact since you are rather tight"_

 _I take a deep breath_

 _"We have to take this slower than I intended to"_

 _How much slower? I think you may have even defeated the sloth at this point!_

 _He gives a few shallow thrusts, his face showing he is deep in concentration as if he trying to solve a case. Then he finds it, the spot he found with his fingers. I gasp into his shoulder and pull him closer, sweat slickening our bodies as we slide together._

 _He picks up the speed and I am basically goo in his arms as he has his way with me. My nails dig into the muscles of his back that is rippling with each thrust. I kiss him when I feel the ecstasy coming on and he partakes in the kiss ferociously. We reach the breaking point, Sherlock letting out a low groan pressed against me and I sink my teeth into the flesh of his shoulder._

 _He gets off of me and pulls off the condom, disposing of it then coming back to bed. We lay there together and I feel conscious of what has just transpired between us._

 _"Stop thinking"_

 _I roll my eyes at him before making myself more comfortable. Silence descends over us before he breaks it_

 _"I don't feel antsy anymore"_

 _I roll over to face him_

 _"What?"_

 _He looks at me_

 _"I don't feel that same need as before, that anger thrumming under the surface. It's like I can think and focus again"_

 _He watches me for a moment more_

 _"I think the coitus helped me forget that Reginald is a threat"_

 _"And this is important how?"_

 _"I thought you might be pleased to know that I feel this way"_

 _Silence_

 _"The feeling is back"_

 _He shifts_

 _"We need to perform coitus again"_

I lost count after orgasm number four, so I can't even recall much besides getting up to stuff something in my mouth and gulping some water.

I gingerly sit down on the sofa when Mrs Hudson comes up with food. I thank her when I see a steaming bowl of soup

"Sherlock kept you a long time isn't it dear?"

My face flushes red and I nearly choke on the juice. I nod since I can't manage to get my mouth to work

"He didn't seem to want to let you go anywhere"

"Yes, well we've sorted things out, I think"

She smiles and nods

"Tell me if you need anything else"

She makes her way down the stairs but stops a moment before saying

"I still think three days is a bit much"

I smile into the cup of juice

I shower and go to my flat to get a change of clothes and to air out the place since I haven't been there for a few days. At this rate I should just sell it and move in with Sherlock and John since I spend more time there than here, the place I actually rent.

My phone rings and I answer without looking

"Where are you?"

"I'm at my flat Sherlock, why? Is something the matter"

He hangs up and I look at my phone to see the call has been disconnected

There's a knock on my door and I open it to have Sherlock storming in

"I can't focus"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what I just said, I can't focus"

He looks around my apartment and spots the sofa

"Sit on the sofa"

Before I can make a move he grabs my hand and drags me over and pushes me down to sit. He kicks off his shoes and sits before lying with his head in my lap. He stares up at the ceiling with his hands together in his natural 'I am solving this case' position. I look over at the remote

"Don't move"

I open my mouth

"You are not allowed to watch telly"

I shut my mouth with a click of my teeth and stare at the wall in front of me blankly. Eventually boredom sets in and I begin playing with his hair. After a few moments I stop and look around again

"Why did you stop?"

I look at him

"I thought it might be distracting"

"I became distracted when you stopped, now go back to what you were doing"

I sigh but comply only to have him jump out of my lap a few moments later

"It's bloody brilliant!"

"What is?"

He spins around to look at me

"I have just solved this case"

He grabs me and gives me a kiss on the lips before racing to put on his shoes

"Pack your things and take them to mine and wait for me at the Chinese place"

He races out the door

"We're going to celebrate with coitus!"

Thanks Sherlock for letting my neighbours in on my sex life. Thundering footsteps come running down the corridor

"Pack all of your things, you're moving in with me"

He runs back out the door

Sherlock Holmes…always so demanding…

 **Hello again. Reviews and constructive criticism is appreciated. I would really like it if you would engage with me so I can improve. If there is anything irritating you guys about the characterizations so on and so forth please send me a private message if you don't want to review. Hope you enjoy this installment.**


	3. Chapter 3

Mycroft Holmes isn't the man I want to see first thing in the morning however it seems like it is about time I met the man face to face. I open the door to the flat wider and allow him in before following him up the stairs.

"I see that you are making an attempt to settle down"

Sherlock looks up from his phone

"Hardly"

The brothers have a stare down for a few moments and then John clears his throat

"Is there something you want?"

Mycroft turns to smile at him

"I just wanted to drop by to see who the latest addition to your little team is"

I lift my head higher and look at him defiantly

"Now that you have seen me I think you can leave"

Mycroft laughs

"Fiesty one isn't she? Almost reminds me of you Sherlock"

"I don't see it"

I go to get dressed for the day and to finally buy myself a darn car. If I was going to spend so much money on cab fare I rather just buy a car for myself. It will come in handy for all of these adventures that we are going on.

I wave at the men before walking down the stairs and greet Mrs Hudson on my way out. While searching for a cab I hear Mycroft behind me

"I want to apologize for my brother, he is rather rude in his interactions"

I look at the man standing next to me and take note of his height and possible weight

"Him I understand. You on the other hand Mycroft…"

"Ah wary of newcomers?"

"My mother taught my stranger danger Mr Holmes, now what is it exactly that you want from me?"

He smiles before reaching into his jacket and pulls out a card. He stretches his hand out in offering of the card

"If you need anything, anything at all, don't be afraid to call me"

I take the card and examine it before sliding it into my own pocket

"I doubt that there will be a need for it, but I will keep that in mind"

I call for a cab and it stops in front of us

"I would love to stay and chat Mycroft but I have things to do"

"Remember, anything at all"

I close the door and tell the driver where I need to go

I pull out the card and examine it closely and then enter the number on my phone

When I arrive at the dealership I look at the cars they have on offer but I can't stop myself from thinking what Sherlock would look for in terms of a car. Round and around I walk around the showroom and then I spot the car.

The Audi A7 is a beauty to behold. I sit in the car and admire the interior, latest in technology and sleek in design, Sherlock would love to be seen in this car. I smile at the young and impressionable boy trying to make a living as a salesman and tell him that I need the paperwork.

After signing on the dotted line, he informs me that it would be a few days before the car will arrive from the factory and I nod before shaking the man's hand.

When I get back to the apartment Sherlock is playing the violin and John looks like he would rather kill himself. Abruptly Sherlock stops playing

"Did you have fun?"

"Have fun with what?"

"Talking with Mycroft. Did you have fun with him?"

"It was barely two minutes"

"Anything can happen in two minutes"

I raise a hand

"I have no energy to deal with you right now Sherlock. Just tell me what your problem is so we can fix it"

"There are too many things wrong with him"

I smirk at John

"It would probably take a lifetime to change all the faults in this one"

John laughs before going back to reading

I go into the bedroom and drop down on the bed heavily before Sherlock joins me. I think of the ring I have for him in my bedside drawer, not a marriage ring, just a gift to remind him that I will always keep him in mind and heart.

"Something wrong?"

I shake my head

"Just thinking"

"About?"

"You just can't leave anything alone can you?"

He sighs

"I wouldn't be Sherlock Holmes if I ever left anything alone"

I smile and sit up to reach into the bedside drawer

"I got this for you"

He opens the box

"Marriage?"

"No, just something to remind you of me"

"Sentimentality"

"You could say that"

He looks at it

"I thought it would rather suit your hand. You have long fingers, and it will compliment your skin tone, make you more dashing than you already are"

He looks at it more before sliding it onto his finger

"Since you say it like that"

I laugh at him before taking out a matching one and sliding it onto my finger. He looks at it

"I should have known it was a set, must be new"

"Just on the shelf, hasn't been advertised yet"

"Or custom made"

I roll my eyes

"That too"

He holds his hand out to look at the ring

"It does suit me doesn't it?"

Vanity thy name is Sherlock Holmes

A moan fills the air and it doesn't come from me. I look at Sherlock and he reaches for his phone

"Adler still in the picture I presume"

He ignores me to read the text. He gets out of bed

"I need to be somewhere"

He leaves me there without even a kiss goodbye

John sees me and asks where Sherlock has run off to

"Not a bloody idea John"

I sit on the sofa

"But it's related to Adler so of course he would drop everything for her"

"Isn't she in the states?"

I look at him upside down from the armrest

"Nope, apparently not"

He sighs and stands

"Adler will always come first to him John, whether or not I like it"

He stands there for a moment

"It doesn't really matter though does it? He chose you"

He goes off to meet someone on a date and I am left alone with my thoughts. Something dangerous if I do say so myself…

The car has arrived and I admire the sleekness of her before signing and getting the keys. I jump in and switch her on. The sound of her engine is beautiful and I am enjoying myself so much that I don't notice John and Sherlock returning from a trip to see Lestrade. A knock on the window brings me out of my moment of enjoyment and I press the button to open the window. The window winds down without a sound and I love this car even more than I did a second ago.

John is staring in astonishment and Sherlock is looking at me through the window

"You like her?"

"She's beautiful"

Sherlock says nothing but John gushes on about the car

"What do you think?"

Sherlock's eyes are like scanners

"Beautiful but unnecessary"

"It will be easier than catching a cab"

"But to sit in traffic will be a nightmare"

"But to catch a criminal by blocking his way with this is genius and faster than chasing after him"

"It will most likely be stolen before you can use it for that purpose"

I get out of the car

"Come on Sherlock, where's your sense of fun"

"I had it removed a few years ago"

"I believe you"

"Can we go for a spin?"

I look over at John, then lean into Sherlock, I grip his collar and pull him closer till our lips are nearly touching

"Can we?"

His eyes are focused on my lips, then he shakes his head to break the trance

"If you insist"

John jumps into the back and Sherlock in the front with me as the driver. I drive to the garage before driving aimlessly around London. John and I are chatting excitedly about all the things she can do when a moan fills the car. Sherlock sighs and pulls out his phone to check the message before putting it away

"Shouldn't we be getting home now, we are still working on a case"

The joyous mood broken I turn the car towards home. Sherlock catches a cab from Baker Street and disappears leaving John and I to find something to do at the flat.

"Sherlock's been telling you to move in for months, shouldn't you think about it? I mean, you basically live here now"

I shake my head

"Sherlock is flighty. He gets bored easily, if I moved in it would most likely end up with me moving out because I can't him"

John nods his head in thought before going up to his room to lie down

I can't get the idea of Sherlock and Irene being alone together out of my head. She made it more than obvious about her interest in Sherlock. I guess she would hold that over me because Sherlock did return the feeling once upon a time, or maybe he still does return her feelings and is just keeping me around out of pity.

Jessica Compton a charity case can't get a normal boyfriend so she has a sociopath feeling sorry for her.

I get into the car and start driving while thinking about all the things that he could be doing right now. Is he touching her? Kissing her? Are they at a hotel together? Or are they in public? Holding hands as they share a romantic dinner?

I shake my head. Sherlock has no sense of romance, he wouldn't be caught doing such things. I park at my favourite Chinese place and think about buying some food for John and Sherlock when I see them.

Sherlock and Irene are seated near the window and she reaches for his hand. She takes his hand in hers and I see no ring present. How could I have been so stupid? Did I really expect him to let go of her? What kind of fantasy have I been living in?

I walk away from them, appetite lost and get back into the car and drive back to my own flat. I park the car and get off when suddenly I am rushed by a few men. I struggle and almost manage to get out of their grasp when I feel a hard hit on the back of my head and the world goes dark.

When I open my eyes I see myself on a high place above a swimming pool. I look around and see the masked men and another body not too far from mine. I try to get a better look but they are facing away from me. I can tell that it is a woman from the dress and heels…at least I think it is a woman, doesn't really matter right now

The doors to the pool bang open and I see the figures of John and Sherlock. A man's voice booms over the intercoms

"How lovely to see you Mr Holmes"

"Let them go"

"Now why would I do that? It would ruin all the fun"

"I am telling you to let them go or there will be consequences"

The voice laughs

"Why Mr Holmes I didn't realise how greedy you are!"

I look over at the other body and she seems to be coming to, she groans and then rolls over weakly. Irene Adler!

"Don't you know you can't have them both?"

Sherlock is looking at us now, eyes flickering back and forth. He can't choose between us, he wasn't able to before and he won't be able to now either

I look over at Irene as she finally begins to come to and her eyes begin to clear. I look over at him and I see his eyes linger on her. I feel my heart breaking all over again. He's made his choice. I look down at my tied hands and see the ring still on my finger. I look at Irene again. Maybe some things were just not meant to be

"Hey ugly!"

A few masked men look up

"Yeah, I'm talking to you guys. You all so ugly that you have to wear masks to look good?"

"Shut your mouth girl"

"Blind too I see"

One of them walks toward me and picks me up

"Shut your mouth"

"What you going to do?"

He throws me in the direction of Irene, first mistake

I take a breath to calm myself and distract from the pain in my ribs. I nudge Irene, hoping that her mind is clear enough to listen to me

"Irene"

She looks at me

"You"

"I have a name you know"

"I know"

I shift a little bit closer and whisper again

"For the record I hate your guts"

She smirks

Sherlock is having a debate with the voice while John is trying to find a way to get to us both. There are too many men, only one of us can make it out of here. It's my job as a cop to make sure the lives of other come before my own, even if I don't like them. I slide off the ring and watch around to see if the men are watching us, when the coast is clear I give her the ring. She looks at me in confusion

"Keep it safe okay"

She slides it on her forefinger

"Take a deep breath"

"Why?"

"Just do it"

She looks at me with uncertainty but does as I say. Then with all the strength I can muster I push her off into the pool. I manage to push myself up in time as she makes a loud splash and John dives into the pool to get her. The other henchmen are coming towards me and I put up a fight the way I did when they first got me. I manage to push off a few and bit another when he grabbed around my neck. It never occurred to them that maybe they should have tied up my legs too, but I guess that's the reason they are henchmen and not criminal masterminds. I club a man over the head when there is a gunshot

Pain blooms in my chest and it's suddenly hard to breathe. I stumble backwards and I feel myself falling

Water surrounds me and I try to take a breath only for water to fill in my lungs. Arms grip me and I am being pulled to the surface and I see beautiful eyes

"Don't close your eyes"

Sorry I can't

My eyelids are heavy

"No! Don't you dare close your eyes Jessica!"

I cough out the water and try to breath but it's hard, so hard

A hand is slapping at my cheek

"Look at me"

Such beautiful eyes Sherlock

"Stay awake for me"

I love you

My eyes fall closed

White walls

Beep

Bright lights

Beep

Blood

Beep

I open my eyes but all I can see is a tall figure in front of me

"Jess you need to sign this"

I can't focus

"Jess please, you need to sign this"

I look to my right

John

"Please sign this Jessica, or else the hospital won't let us make the decision to save your life"

My arm won't co-operate

You need to sign this Jess

I lift my arm for the pen, I can barely hold it but I have to

What's the use? You're mostly dead anyway

I sign the paper and fall into darkness again

I open my eyes

Green scrubs

Close

Strong chemicals in my nostrils

Open

Nurses

Close

A mask on my face

Open

A blood covered glove

Close

When I do regain consciousness I can hear voice but I can't open my eyes just yet. Sherlock's voice fills my ears

"When you are discharged by the doctors, I'll take you home. In Baker Street, I won't let you out of my sight"

I feel my hand being lifted and then a press of lips to the back of my hand

A few days later and I have managed to get some strength back and I can smile and talk a little bit. John and Mrs Hudson are more than thrilled and Mrs Hudson is obviously a criminal mastermind because she brings me the good fruit juice that I like, unfortunately her chocolate chip cookies are out of the question until I am able to chew without feeling tired.

John adjusts the bed so that I can sit up properly and Mrs Hudson gushes on about her latest acquisition in a sale when Sherlock walks in. He looks fine almost as if nothing happened to him, yet John's eyes holds worry for my well-being. He walks into the room slowly and John leads Mrs Hudson out of the room to give us some privacy.

He stands next to my bed and looks uncomfortable. I tell him to sit and he sits on the edge.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better"

I shift a little bit and wince when pain emanates from the wound in my chest. Sherlock reaches for me but I stop him with a hand held up. I make myself more comfortable and sink back into the mattress

"How's Adler"

"You shouldn't be worried about her"

"We were both in the situation together Sherlock. It is mere concern for a fellow victim"

"Not that it should be a concern of yours since you should be focusing on recovering, but she is fine"

I nod and Sherlock takes my hand in his

"You lost your ring"

And you never wore yours

"The doctors want to keep you for a while longer, then you can come home to Baker Street with me"

"I won't be coming back to Baker Street"

Sherlock looks up from our intertwined fingers. I make sure I have all of his attention

"I will be going to live with Eliza, until I have recovered. After that I will be returning to my own flat"

He looks confused

"It's over between us Sherlock"

His eyes widen

"No"

I nod

"It was over from the moment you went to meet Adler in the restaurant that we used to frequent together, when you let her take your hand"

"It isn't what you think it is"

"She loves you Sherlock and I can't compete when you love her too"

"I don't love her. I have admiration for her but never love"

I laugh at him

"Sherlock, I know you better than you know yourself"

I look him in the eye

"You can't lie to me"

He gets off the bed

"The medication has gone to your head"

"For the first time I am seeing clearly"

I nod towards the door

"I think it's time you left, stress isn't good for me right now"

He gets off the bed and strides towards the door

"I'm not letting go of you, no matter how much you demand it"

You don't have a choice Sherlock. I'm not giving you one.


	4. Chapter 4

"Slowly now Jess, you're recovering from being shot"

Eliza is admonishing me when I am so excited about being let out of the hospital. I've been in that place for weeks and barely spent any time outside of it. To see the sky again is a blessing itself

"Relax, I am almost recovered. I just need to stretch my legs a bit and I will be as good as new"

She looks dubious but lets me have my way until I get to the stairs. I stand in front of them

"Oh so now you want to slow down?"

I turn to look at her dressed in purple

"Maybe I don't want to be seen with a certain dinosaur that only exists in the imagination of children"

She gapes

"How dare you! Purple is in this season"

"Which one? The one where everyone dresses like the prehistoric era?"

She makes a rude sound before helping me up the stairs. Bloody things tire me out so quickly

She helps to make me comfortable in the guest bed and leaves to make some tea.

My bag is on top of the bed and I open it to see my phone on top of the neatly folded clothing.

I see the charger in another compartment and I put it on to charge and switch it on when it's plugged in to the wall socket. I scroll through my contacts and see the one name I never thought I would consider calling. I hit dial and when he picks up I simply say

"You said if I needed anything I could call. I need a favour"

Mycroft Holmes sits in front of me his umbrella a constant companion

"Are you sure about this? Sherlock won't be thrilled"

"It is what is best for him…and for me"

He sighs

"Sometimes we make decisions in haste only to regret them later"

"Sometimes decisions made in haste are the best ones we will ever make"

He hums while looking at his umbrella

"It won't be easy to hide from him. He will find you eventually"

"I'll just keep moving"

"He discovers patterns rather quickly"

"I won't have a pattern, Sherlock Holmes doesn't know everything about me Mycroft. When I want to disappear I disappear completely. It's how I managed to survive on several stakeouts and drug busts"

He looks thoughtful

"Very well, I will help you"

I smile

"However…"

"However?"

"If this has an ill effect on my brother, you will return immediately when I order you to"

Just agree

"Alright"

He smiles

"Good, everything should be ready for you in a fortnight. Are you able to travel?"

"I'm a strong girl Mycroft, I'll manage"

"As long as you are sure"

He walks out the door of Eliza's apartment trusty umbrella swinging slightly

"Why do I have a feeling that you have made a deal with the devil?"

I smirk

"Because I have"

"Do you really think that this is the best idea Jess?"

I sigh and put on my coat

"When have I ever made a bad decision?"

"When you're emotional. Jess please listen you and Sherlock have a weird relationship but this can be worked out"

I shake my head

"It's too late for that. I've made up my mind, Liza. Now I need your help or you can stay in the car while I sort things out"

She shakes her head at me but agrees to come anyway

I tell Eliza to go and open all the windows to let the stale air out and I go into the bedroom to pack the rest of my possessions that I can take with me. I look at the bed and remember….

 _Sherlock burst through the door of my bedroom as if he is on fire_

 _"What's wrong?"_

 _"I read something on the internet and I need to test out this theory"_

 _"What theory?"_

 _"Doesn't matter, take off your clothes"_

 _Confused I comply and lay on the bed when he instructs me to. He climbs on the bed_

 _"Their claims are fascinating"_

 _"What claims? What are you going on about Sherlock?"_

 _Finally he elaborates_

 _"I saw a website that gives tips to better coitus"_

 _"I thought there was nothing wrong with the way we have sex"_

 _"There isn't but this website claims that this can make it even better"_

 _"And you just want to see if there are any flaws in this theory?"_

 _"Of course"_

 _He positions himself and enters my body. Nowadays with the constant need of his to have me as soon he has some free time, I find my engines agreeing to this type of behaviour at any time of day or night. I think of Pavlov's dog and conditioning and then stop myself_

 _"Your mind should not wonder when I am here with you"_

 _He begins thrusting slowly, almost painfully slow_

 _I try to urge him faster only to receive a smack to my rump_

 _"I am controlling this experiment"_

 _I roll my eyes_

 _He suddenly stops and just lies on top of me. Confused I prod him in the shoulder_

 _"Shouldn't you be conducting the experiment?"_

 _"I am, now stop moving or else we are going to have to start over"_

 _I wrap a leg around him and pull him deeper, he groans_

 _"Is that a threat Mr Holmes?"_

We did have one of the most powerful climaxes after our skin became overly sensitive from the way we were positioned together. I look at the large windowsill, where Sherlock had played the violin the one time…

 _Sherlock plays an unfamiliar tune and I admire the way he holds the violin_

 _Strong yet thin fingers expertly play and I make no move to disturb him. It is entrancing when he does find a good tune to play and think while doing it._

 _The tune is unfamiliar but it seems to me like a love song, when it ends I softly clap and go sit with him_

 _"That was wonderful Mr Holmes"_

 _"I know"_

 _I laugh and playfully swat him on the arm_

 _"Sounded like a love song. Do you have a special woman in your life?"_

 _He looks at me_

 _"Very special"_

He never did tell me who he had been playing it for, maybe in that moment the alarm should have been blaring that something wasn't right between the both of us.

I open the cupboard where I keep a special bag stashed. Small enough to be carried with me and won't draw attention to me. I open the bag and see the half a million pounds I keep stashed away. My father had given me this money but I never thought I would need to use it until now. Eliza helps carry everything to the car and as I am about to close the door for the last time I remember that I needed to give the car keys to John.

I grab the keys from the key holder and put them into a small envelope with John's name on it. When I am about to seal it, I rethink that then find a small sheet of paper and fold it in half. I write Sherlock on the top and inside I write a single word. I slide it in with the keys and seal the envelope. I get into the car and Eliza looks at me. She takes my hand in hers

"I hope this is what is best for you"

"Me too"

A hoot outside of Eliza's flat makes me break out of my daze and I look to see Mycroft's car outside. I hug her one last time before walking outside. The driver helps to put all of my cases in the car and I keep the bag of money with me. I give a polite nod to his assistant and Mycroft looks solemn

"You do know that I don't approve of this method"

I sigh

"That may be so Mycroft, but this is what is best for Sherlock"

I look down at my hands

"It will give him the chance to finally have what he wants"

He rolls his eyes

"Such children"

He takes out papers from his coat

"Your new identity"

I take them from him and nod when I see the change of name and fictional details about me

"Thank you"

"Don't thank me just yet, as we have agreed before, if Sherlock's behaviour takes a turn for the worst, I will order you back to London"

I look him in the eyes

"I doubt me leaving the country is going to affect as badly as you all make it out to be. He is a grown man; he can handle a little bit of separation from me"

If little means the rest of both your lives, then yes we can call it little

"Just remember"

I internally roll my eyes and put the papers into my bag. When we arrive at the airport I shake Mycroft's hand and take my things from the car.

I stand in line to board and watch the people around me

A couple hold hands as they walk by, smiling at something or other

You know you can have that someday

I hoped it would be with him, not so much the smiling and laughing but the companionship and understanding that only the two of us would have shared.

I get on the plane and look out the window, when the plane is about to take off I close my eyes against the tears

' **Goodbye** '

We land in Vancouver and I already have the hotel booked under the name given to me by Mycroft, I check in and sleep for a little bit before going out and looking for the nearest hair salon. I dye my hair from a cinnamon brown to a dark red and have most of the length chopped off. I go back to the hotel and check online for the ticket I have booked under a new identity.

Seeing that the plane would leave in a day, I take out my other identity and look at the name on the passport

Isabella Jenkins

Occupation: English Second Language Teacher

I order room service and don't leave the room until I need to leave for my flight. I board the plane and think back to the empty words I said to Mycroft

 _"If Sherlock needs me I will return, not before"_

I sit on the plane to Shanghai and smile to myself

Didn't expect this did you Mycroft?


	5. Chapter 5

I walk home from the school I am currently teaching at to the fresh food market. I see the old lady at the stall I always buy my food from and pick up my weekly grocery list. I wave at her granddaughter who practices her English with me whenever I come by. After a small chat with the teenager I walk the streets of Shanghai to my flat.

When I stand outside the door my hair stands on end. Something is off. I open the door and can hear music coming from inside.

A violin

Bittersweet memories come flooding back after two years of trying to forget. I pull out my gun hidden in the waist band of my jeans and long shirt. I slowly drop the bag on the mat and softly and cautiously step into my flat. The further I go in the louder the music becomes and it sounds…sad? Melancholic in nature, if I was a more sensitive person I might have become depressed at the sound

I thumb off the safety and step further inside. I see a hot dinner on the table, the curtains are closed like I left them but I don't remember ever having candles lying around. I look around and on the window sill is the man that sends my heart into a fiery rage. The song ends when I step into the lounge and he looks at me through his lashes

"Hello"

I thumb the safety back on

"What are you doing here?"

"The question dear Jess is what are YOU doing here?"

I take off my jacket and toss it over the sofa

"Living my life. What did it seem like I was doing?"

"Living a lie is a more appropriate answer"

"What do you want Sherlock?"

"Nothing"

"What are you doing in Shanghai? Don't say nothing"

He lies on the double sofa, picking a random book from my coffee table

"Nice choice"

He opens it and since he won't answer me I go to get my groceries that I have left at the door

When I go back he answers

"I'm in the country to see my wife"

"Congratulations. How did you shackle Adler to you?"

He smirks

"Who said it was Irene?"

"She is the only woman stupid enough to fall for the likes of you Sherlock and to stick around"

"So what does that make you? You also fell for me"

I snort

"Been there done that and have the emotional scars from that adventure. I won't be going through it again"

The book gets closed loudly

I take my coffee and stand against the counter in my kitchen and Sherlock crowds the doorway

"To answer your unasked question, no I am not married to Miss Adler. In fact she is engaged to a rather wealthy socialite"

"They into BDSM?"

His lips quirk

"I would suggest so"

I push by him and take a seat and sits on the opposite sofa. I take another sip of my coffee then put it down then sit back

"So she basically left after she got tired of you?"

He straightens in his seat

"We had a tiff"

"Must be an understatement, why would she leave London and come to Shanghai when all you had was a tiff? Bit over dramatic isn't she?"

He sighs

"She sees that now"

I nod and reach for my coffee

"So who is this poor girl?"

Sherlock smiles

"You"

I choke on my coffee and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand when it's over.

"What rubbish are you spouting?"

I look at his arms where I can see recent track marks

"Did the drugs finally drive you mental?"

"Don't you wish they did?"

"It's the only reason I can think of because what you claim is true is pure bullocks"

He reaches into his coat and pulls out papers. He unfolds them and places them on the table

"Look for yourself"

I pull the papers from the table and look at them. On them I see my name and I look at the bottom of the page and I see Sherlock's signature and on the other space is my own signature staring at me

"This is forged, it has to be"

He chuckles

"Unfortunately not, you signed that paper"

I look at it again from the top, hoping to see some kind of evidence that this was a fake

"Who notarised this?"

"Who did isn't of any concern"

He reaches across the small table and takes hold of my wrist

"Come home"

I lift my eyes from the paper

"I don't have a home"

I pull my wrist away

"I have made this place my home"

"Your home is with me in London"

I look at him with a bitter smirk

"I never had a home with you in London"

He approaches me slowly. He presses himself against my back, his warmth a reminder of the illusion I was living under with him before the kidnapping that showed me the truth. I look at him over my shoulder. He turns me around, hands gentle on my arms. I let him wanting to see where this will go. His hands travel up my arms and I turn my face away to look at the table. The hands travel up my neck to cup my face, thumbs caressing my cheeks.

We stare into each other's eyes, the atmosphere around us thickening. He leans in closer and I tip my head up in invitation, lips parting in a way that entranced him before. He swoops in and claims me for his own. His kiss is scorching in a way that I have never felt. Lust and dominance, yet it feels different, almost longing. My hands thread through his hair and I suddenly find myself lifted onto the table I had been leaning against. I hear the clatter of dishes and I think of the candles when I look at them I see the flames are already out and I wonder when Sherlock had the moment to put them out when we are so busy with each other. Then I remember, sociopaths use anything to get what they want.

Sherlock is a sociopath

I bite his lip hard enough to be painful and shove him away from me. His back hits the wall and he looks at me with something akin to shock as he wipes the blood from his bottom lip. I pull out my pistol again, keeping it on him as I slowly walk around him.

"What are you doing?"

"Do I look like a fool Mr Holmes?"

"You are a lot of things but a fool is not one of them"

"Thanks for the compliment but I have no time for your games"

"I should take this as you not coming back to London with me?"

I say nothing, but keep a steady gaze on him

"I didn't want it to come to this"

He reaches into his coat and I raise the gun higher

"Be careful what you pull out of you coat Mr Holmes, it could get you killed"

He pulls out another paper

"A warrant of arrest"

"For what?"

"Fraud"

"Mycroft give that to you?"

"I know of your deal with him, you disobeyed instruction and disappeared. I was sent to find you"

"You found me but I won't go back"

"If you go back now you will most likely not be sentenced"

"Benefits of having connections in government"

"Having a brother sometimes has its advantages"

"I don't work for the English government anymore Sherlock"

"I know, but it doesn't mean that you should not return home"

"You keep going on about a home in London, Sherlock I am not going to come back to London"

"I know about the new job that you do now Jess"

"As expected of you Mr Holmes"

"A sharp shooter for hire"

"Makes me far more than I would have earned in a lifetime working in the police department"

"Mrs Hudson wonders about you"

"That's because she has a heart, something that you lack"

Bouncing from subject to subject to distract me Sherlock? How childish of you

"I don't want to have to take you back to London by force"

"Yeah? Well too bad because I won't go of my free will"

I dodge out the door slamming it and running into the streets. I hear his feet hitting the ground and I pick up the pace, pushing people out of the way. I race into alleys just missing Sherlock by a hair. I stop when I no longer hear his footfalls behind me. I take that moment to breathe and look around the corner to find the place empty.

I duck into a dilapidated building and go to the rooftop. I look over into the streets and don't see the familiar head of hair. As I slide down to the ground I hear

"New tactics I see"

I look at Sherlock

"It's just the beginning"

I see a pair of handcuffs in his hand

I spot a truck carrying sacks of grain. Approximately thirty seconds before it arrives

"I don't want to do this Jess"

"Then don't. Just walk away Sherlock"

"You know I can't do that"

"Sure you can, just turn around and walk away like you have never seen me"

He stares

Ten seconds

"You know Sherlock I never imagined my life like this"

Five seconds

"But not all of our dreams are meant to come true"

Two

"Like this one"

I throw myself over without warning and I hear Sherlock scream my name

He looks at me from the top of the building and I wave

When we reach a stop street I jump off and run to the docks. I jump onto the ferry leaving for South Korea. I see my friend Shing talking to a few people. He spots me and leaves them with a polite smile

"Finally taking that vacation you promised me?"

I snort

"Something like that, you have my emergency bag?"

He looks at me as if though I am an idiot

"Of course I do"

"Good, I'm going to need it"

I walk into the boat and get to the reserved room meant just for me

"I still can't thank you enough for what you did for me"

I look over my shoulder

"The money was enough"

"It will never be enough. You saved my daughter's life"

"It was the right thing to do. I couldn't let someone threaten a three year old and get away with it. Only a sick individual would target a child"

I take out the large bag from under the bed and take out my laptop. I open the screen for flights from Shanghai to all places in South Korea. With a few taps of the keys, their system is down and I can relax. If Sherlock takes a ferry now he would still be behind while I can get a head start.

I sleep lightly, waiting for the moment we arrive to port.


	6. Chapter 6

Japan isn't so different from South Korea. The technology is astounding and the most wonderful part of my stay here for the past few months. Both places have the language barrier for me so maybe that's why I don't actually get the full experience. Learning Japanese at this stage in my life is difficult and takes longer than I would like it to.

I see kids going home from their after school classes with cell phones in hands and an occasional squeal over the latest idol that has appeared on the entertainment scene. The one thing I have realised however is the fact that teenage girls all love the fantasy men shown to them on telly. It doesn't matter which part of the world you are from a teenage girl will always love a pop star more than her boyfriend. I always had a preference for rock so I can't actually compare…

I pick up my case and make my way out of the hotel I am staying in for the past few weeks. A new target has popped up for me and I can't help but love the moments I spend before taking the shot. The set-up, the adrenaline rush that I have to control, the aim and pulling the trigger is what I have begun to live for. It gives me this thrill of power up my spine, to know that you have the upper hand while the prey is totally unaware.

Some might say that I have a sick fascination with knowing that I have the power to take someone's life, but I don't deny it. What is the use of that? It's true. However I do have my own conditions, I never kill for something as mundane as a grudge. I target the people that are worse than me, people that target children and use people as pawns in their sick game of chess, prostitutes that need to run away and start a new life, but what gives me the most amount of satisfaction is to see an abuser drop to the ground and struggle before death takes them. It doesn't matter who they have abused, when I hear about the horrors these people have lived through my blood boils to a point where I see nothing but red. Sometimes I don't even take money as long as I can see another piece of filth drop dead.

And then there are the times where I wish that this isn't my life, that this is some figment of my imagination and I am meant to have a happily ever after. Some people say that everyone has a partner in the world. I think that those people are wrong. Not everyone is meant for a happily ever after.

I make my way up to the rooftop of the building I am meant to be at and begin my set up. The night is filled with people going home from work and some of them just beginning. The streets are full of people and will cause the best kind of distraction when they panic. Once I am done I keep an eye out for the target and wait.

The familiar head of hair however might make it a bit difficult. I sigh in frustration at Sherlock's lack of timing but I have to be on high alert for the target that could be standing right next to him.

Luckily the man isn't right next to Sherlock and I manage to take him down. The chaos that erupts is one of the most beautiful things that I have caused.

I pack up and disappear from the building before anyone realises where the shot had come from.

I smile as I walk back into the hotel but it drops when I enter my room and find Sherlock sitting in the massage chair and examining the buttons and all the different functions.

"Fascinating Sherlock?"

He looks up

"I am a curious mind, if there is something to be learnt then I learn"

"That's different, I thought you knew everything"

He looks up from the controls

"There is always something new to explore"

I drop the case

"Still going to try and arrest me?"

"It won't bring you back to London, so no"

I take some comfortable clothes to change into

"What made you change your mind?"

I close the bathroom door

"The fact that you are strongly opposed to coming back"

I wash my face and grab the towel

"You've never cared about someone else's feeling before"

"They weren't my wife"

I open the door

"Sherlock"

"You can deny it all you want but according to that piece of paper we are married"

"I didn't know what I was signing when I did sign it, I was just shot and completely out of it"

"You had to sign it in order for me to make decisions about your life"

"I thank you for helping me live but that part of my life is over now"

We sit together in silence for a long moment

"I never thought I would miss someone until you walked out"

"What?"

"Emotions are a distraction"

"You've made that point very clear"

"Yet when it comes to you I cannot control them"

"Should I feel special?"

He has his face in his hands and takes a deep breath, then looks up at me

"I've missed you terribly"

I clap sarcastically

"Nice speech but we both know that sociopaths don't have the ability to feel emotions"

"I never saw you as a pessimist"

"Never knew I was one until I met you"

I get off from my seat and bend down to look Sherlock in the eye

"You know what the actual problem is Sherlock? The problem is that now that I am no longer in your grasp, you want me. I am no longer the naïve woman who gets trampled on because of a peppy attitude. I've become someone else entirely"

"That isn't true"

"Care to prove me wrong?"

He's examining me now but I just get myself a bottle of water from the fridge. After a few mouthfuls I ask

"How are Mr and Mrs Watson? I heard she has baby number two on the way"

"They have their ups and downs"

"Must be lonely in Baker Street since he will have his hands even fuller now. No time for visiting as much"

He makes a sound

"You find yourself another room-mate?"

I toss him the rest of the bottle which he catches

"No"

"You should, at least then you will have someone to entertain you. Not to mention the rent"

"I manage"

"When you and John were living together money was still tight"

"I sold the car"

I throw the nearest object at him

"You sold my car?!"

"Of course. I had no need for such a contraption"

Rage consumes me and I have to remind myself that such an emotion is draining and not worth feeling. I take a few deep breathes

"Who did you sell it to?"

"My brother"

Mycroft must have bought it out of a need to say that he has something of mine that I will obviously want back. Asshole

"Of all the people in the world"

"It was short notice and he expressed interest in it the day you left"

"He did?"

"It was rather shocking that you would leave without a goodbye"

"I did leave a note and I gave the car to John"

"What John doesn't know won't hurt him"

"You purposely made sure that he didn't get the car"

"He needed something that would be family and eco-friendly"

I roll my eyes

"Sherlock, saviour of the planet"

"Something lighter on fuel"

He does have a point

"I'll give you one point"

It's almost three in the morning and Sherlock shows no signs of leaving. I have a plane to catch soon and have to get some sleep

"I see that all of your things are packed"

"How observant"

"When am I not?"

When it came to my feelings

"Right now, because I am tired and you are still here"

He looks at the clock on the wall

"I suppose you are right"

He gets off the chair and makes his way over to the door. He pauses with his hand on the handle

"You will be leaving again, in a few hours"

I neither deny nor agree with the statement

"Till we meet again"

The door closes behind Sherlock softly

"Till we meet again Sherlock"


End file.
